I sat down to lunch today and realized I had nothing to eat. Don’t you hate when that happens? Normally it is because I am in too much of a rush from smacking the alarm clock around and I leave my frozen dinner sitting beside the kitchen sink. Today it was because I went to vote and just never thought about food. Doh!
Luckily, I know someone just one floor down who always has food stashed away. I’m not talking your average junk food. No. This woman keeps meals in her office. She is, by far, wiser than I. Normally there is enough to feed an army in there! I swear, if the company had a random party, she could cater it form her personal office pantry.
So I stalked down to her door, knocked politely, made some sweet chit-chat, and tried not to foam at the mouth. (I am not a pretty sight when I am hungry.) She readily agreed to let me have my pick of anything in her cabinet. I floated on a cloud of deliriously happy thoughts over to the Magic Cabinet of Sustenance. I opened the cheaply laminated, faux wood grain doors almost reverently… Only to find a nearly bare cupboard.
Blink.
Who-whaaaa? Did everyone forget about food today?
There was a single box of steam in the bag brown rice left all the way in the back. It looked so lonely. Just sitting there forgotten with no can of soup or bag of apples to talk to. How sad. Poor box of rice. I opened it up and realized there was only one packet left. My kind-hearted friend laughed when I tried to offer some excuse as to why I wasn’t going to devour her last bit of food. She shooed me away with a grin and I was off. I think I took the stairs three at a time.
I slammed the nuker door and hunkered down to watch my soon to be meal spin on it’s little tray. The prospect of a meal was so strong, I didn’t even blink. I was going to silence my angry stomach! I was going to eat! I was going to enjoy the feeling of (at least) mostly full! It was going to be amazing! I was going to add soy sauce from the take-out place! I was going to break open a packet of chop sticks just for the occasion! The timer dinging was akin to angels singing!
I moved so fast to my desk that I may well have teleported! The packet didn’t have a tear here spot, so I just used my fork.
I do not know my own strength…
Spilled Rice
What you can’t see is that about half the packet is on the floor. The cleaning crew just laughed at me. My boss thinks it is just precious that I can’t function well enough to open a bag. Oi.
I am starving. I need food. Desperately! Someone come and feed me!
